Because of Him
by alex-1310
Summary: Just a little something about losing the person you were in love with and the one thing that still keeps her going.


**Because of Him**

A/N: So I've had this on my mind for awhile I just can't seem to find the time to sit down and write anymore, it's sad really. Hope everyone enjoys!

She's been gone almost a year now and sometimes I still can't believe it, don't want to believe it. She was everything to me. My light, my happiness, my constant, of course I rarely ever admitted that to her, let alone anyone else. But people who knew her… knew us… they knew the truth. And when I thought I would not be able to make it through the day without her, when I thought I wanted to curl up and just…die, he's what got me through. He became my constant, my happiness, my light. He became the reason I got up every morning and made it through the day without her and I think…actually I know it's because he is so much like her. You would think it would be harder that way, to have someone who resembled the person you were so in love with, but really it's what got me through everything. He not only resembles her physically, but he's strong like her emotionally and he's only eleven. Sometimes it's hard to tell what he is really thinking, but the good thing is, he can open up to me, which I am thankful for.

_His early morning attitude,  
You have to drag him outta bed,  
Only frosted flakes will do,  
He gets that from me  
Yeah he gets that from me _

Jacob never was a morning person, just like me. From the time he was a toddler he preferred to sleep in and miss the morning cartoons, which we learned to be thankful for on those Saturday's we actually had off. And he also developed a love for frosted flakes which she began teasing us about when he was just five years old. She would always talk about how unhealthy they were and Jacob and I would just roll our eyes at her and tell her that it didn't matter because they were too good to resist!

_His curly hair and his knobby knees,  
The way the sun brings those freckles out,  
Talkin' talk never miss a beat,  
Yeah he gets that from you,  
He gets that from you_

The curls in his hair definitely came from her and while she was graceful when she wanted to be she also had a clumsy side to herself, which I always found endearing. And he tends to ramble when he gets nervous just the way she would.

_He looks at me with those big brown eyes,  
He's got me in the palm of his hands,  
And I swear sometimes_,  
_It's just like you're here again,_

When I look at him I see her and sometimes it's hard, but other times when I look at him and see his brown hair and his lips and look into his big brown eyes I realize I am really lucky to have a mini version of her walking around. I have a piece of her still here and for that I am extremely lucky and forever grateful.

_He smiles that little crooked smile,  
There's no denying he's your child,  
Without him I don't know what I'd do,  
He gets that from you,  
Oh he gets that from you _

When people we know look at him, they all agree that there isn't a doubt that he was her child, especially when he smiles that little crooked smile and his eyes light up, it seems like he brightens the room a little bit and people are at ease with him and I just honestly don't know what I would do without him._  
_  
_How he loves your old guitar,  
Yeah he's taught himself today,  
He melts my heart,  
Tells me he loves me every day_,

One of her secrets was that she was pretty damn good at playing the guitar, although only a select group of people knew about it and well Jacob decided he had to learn to play. She had been teaching him to play before…before she was killed. I'll never forget that day, she saved my life in the line of duty and I was there when she stopped breathing on the sidewalk and after telling me to take care of our son, her last words were 'I love you', and thankfully we raised Jacob to never be afraid to say those three words and he never forgets to tell me, everyday that he loves me.

_And cracks a joke at the perfect time,  
Makes me laugh when I want to cry,  
That boy is everything to me,  
He gets that from you,  
He gets that from you_

Jacob also gets his sense of humor from her, he has that dry humor, and knows when to drop a line perfectly without ever laughing himself and I love him for it because it usually stops me from wanting to cry or makes me just laugh when I need to. I know he's going to do something great in this life and I think it is because he is her son and we did a good job raising him, I just hope I can continue raising him well and be there for him when he needs me, that's one thing that I worry about.

_Last night I heard him pray,  
Lord help me and momma make it through,  
And tell mommy we'll be ok, _

As I stand over her grave I tell her what he prayed for last night and how it brought tears to my eyes. He's standing over another grave now a few tombstones down so he can't hear me when I say the next part.

_He said he sure misses you,  
He sure misses you,  
He really misses you,  
He gets that from me_

I end talking to her with that before saying, "I love you Emily Elizabeth Prentiss and we miss you so much. But I just want to say thank you…again…for giving me our wonderful son. He's so much like you it's unbelievable (I laugh a little as I say this). I just hope I can do as good of a job raising him as we were doing together."

"You're doing a great job mom" Jacob says as he looks up at me

Somehow he is standing next to me and I didn't even know it. Didn't hear him walk over to me. I smile to myself at how Emily used to be able to do that.

"I didn't even hear you Jake" I tell as I wrap my arm around his shoulders, he then wraps his little arm around my waste and leans into me.

"You are doing good though mom" he says sincerely as his brown eyes look up into my blue ones

I smile down at him and reply with a simple, "Thanks sweetie" and then I can see that he has that curious look on his face, "Is there something else hun?"

He looks back down to his other mother's grave and then back up to me, "Would it be okay if I went back to being called Prentiss instead of Jacob? I mean I know you guys called me Jake because it was easier when I was little, but my name is Prentiss Jacob Jareau, and I think…no I know I'm old enough to be called Prentiss now, and I like it because, well it's different, and I just thought-"

"Jake or I'm sorry…Prentiss" I laugh at his antics and how much he just resembled his mother with his nervous rambling, "I think if that's what you want then that sounds wonderful to me and I know that you will carry the name proudly and that your mother would be honored"

Jake or Prentiss, rather, looked up at me and smiled that bright Prentiss smile and nodded his head before we turned, together, and headed back to the car.

All the way to the car I just kept telling myself you can do this JJ, you can do this.

The End

A/N: Please feel free to review and good comments are welcome, lol. Oh and the music is not mine it belongs to reba mcentire-he gets that from me, although i changed a few things to fit the story, and of course i do not own criminal minds!


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